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Lessons from Mom

Happy Mother's Day (tomorrow) to all the moms out there. Whether you are a mom by birth, adoption, fostering, or a motherly relationship with someone, you are an amazing woman. Almost 4 years ago I became a mom myself for the first time. That little girl came into my life and made me understand what it means to have your heart live outside your body. I didn't know a type of love like that could exist until her. Then, a little over 2 years later, a little boy arrived and somehow he made all the love I had multiply. I remember being afraid that I wouldn't be able to love another child like I did Kenzie, but my own mother told me that it isn't that you have to worry about splitting your love. Instead, your love just grows in ways you never thought possible.

This Mother's Day I want to wish a couple of very special ladies an amazing Mother's Day because they mean the world to me. I have learned so much from these two women about what it means to be a mom.

My own mother taught me everything I know about being a mom. She might not always agree with the choices I make as a mom and I might not always agree with hers, but she taught me some very important things. She taught me that being a mother means finding levels of patience that you don't know exist. Whether it is waiting for what seems like forever while your child finds their shoes and then painstakingly puts them on without help just so that they can have a sense of accomplishment or understanding that your child may choose to walk later than his or her peers... ahem... William... (probably just to have an excuse to get mommy cuddles longer), it is all about patience. She taught me that being a mother is about finding a mutual respect. You respect the other mothers around you even if they have different viewpoints or ideals. We are all in this together. You respect your children because your respect for them teaches them to respect you and others. She taught me that being a mother means digging down deep and finding a balance between over protectiveness and learning to let go. My mom used to ask me if I broke the floor when I fell (if she knew the fall wasn't hard) to teach me that falling down and getting back up are possible and don't have to set off your entire day. Learning to do that with my own children was a challenge. As a kid I wasn't followed around constantly by my mother, but I knew her expectations and what my limits should be. I can only hope to continue to instill that in my own children as they grow older and learn to take on the world on their own. She taught me that love is more than a 4 letter word. I didn't understand what it must feel like to be a mom and watch your kids hurt or watch them succeed. My heart hurts for them when they are hurt or sick or scared.  My heart bursts with love anytime one of them accomplishes something new. I used to be so excited for my own accomplishments, and while I am still proud when I achieve something new, watching them learn and meet a goal is so much better. I now know why my mom would cry (in happiness) watching me achieve a goal that I worked hard for. You just can't help yourself. Plus, this family just breeds criers.




There is another very special mother in my life that may not be my own mother, but she was always there for me and was such an amazing motherly figure. You might hear me refer to my Momma #2 at times because even though we live 1000 miles apart, she continues to be a blessing in my life. My mom's best friend, Ms. Barbara (my southern upbringing will always ensure I call her Ms. even though I am a grown adult now) has been in my life as long as I can remember. I can't recall her ever NOT being there. Ms. Barbara taught me what it means to be a godly woman and mother. There are some people in this world that are just genuinely nice people. Some people have it, most probably don't. Ms. Barbara is one of those people. I don't think I have ever met someone as nice and giving as her. She taught me that I am not the most important person out there and that others deserve respect and kindness despite anything else.



There are a number of other moms in my life that I could talk about and all the things they have taught me (or those around me). My mother-in-law raised an amazing man that is my best friend and the other half of my parenting team. My sis-in-law is an amazing mom to her own little girl and also a wonderful aunt. My other sis-in-law doesn't have any children of her own yet, but she is such a great aunt. I know all of these women will continue to teach me important lessons about being a mom and how to be a better person overall. I also know that they have (or will) pass down all of their motherly lessons to their own children and we will have a new generation of respectful, friendly, loving people.




This Mother's Day, I want to say a special thank you to all of those "moms" in my life. They are such great examples for me as well as my children and I thank you for being you. Happy Mother's Day!

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